I'm Geosensitive and Worldsensitive/Sociosensitive

Updated Jan 15, 2018

Subject to edits/revisions:

I'm geosensitive and worldsensitive/sociosensitive.

I'm geosensitive, meaning I can sense or "feel" the personality of different locations on the earth, more specifically, I can sense or "feel" the forces that govern the different locations on the earth. ["Geo" means "earth" and "sensitive" means "sensing", therefore "geosensitive" means "to sense the earth".] It's not just a Powell River (BC, Canada) thing, it's a worldwide thing, because I was geosensitive even when I was in Israel, the West Bank, Jordan and England in 2015 (and other locations at other times, e.g. the USA and others places in Canada). Different locations "feel" different, meaning, they're governed by different forces/personalities. The forces/personality of any given location can change, meaning it "feels" different than it did before. Being geosensitive is not related to having people around, because I'm geosensitive even when there's nobody around. Being geosensitive is a phenomenon of the quality of bestowal.

I'm worldsensitive, meaning I can sense the different worlds that are governed by different laws. These worlds manifest in the social environment, which means I'm sociosensitive. Being worldsensitive/sociosensitive is a phenomenon of the quality of bestowal.

In everything we do, we should seek to benefit others/Nature instead of ourselves.

Copyright © 2017. Carter Kagume. All Rights Reserved.

Pray For Me

Pray for me.

Isn't This The CARpenTER?

"Isn't this the carpenter?" (Mark 6:3)
CARpenTER = CARTER + pen (anagram)
Meaning, Carter taught by the pen. #ASign

Sackcloth And Rope

Signs That Tell You Who I Am

Updated Feb 27, 2018

WORK IN PROGRESS:
This post is a work in progress and is subject to changes, revisions, edits and deletions.

The Quran asks, "Why has no sign been sent down to him from his Lord?" (Quran 6:37) Meaning, why are there no signs that tell you who I am? There are signs, we just have to know how to read them.

I can't tell you who I am because even if I told you, you wouldn't believe me. As such, signs are given to you as a witness to tell you who I am. This is all detailed in another post in this blog titled, "Don't Ask Me Who I am".

Here's a list of some of the signs that tell you who I am. This list shows you how to read the signs and how we're all interconnected. Keep in mind, Scripture talks only about our internal qualities, and the world we see is a reflection of our internal qualities. One thing becomes evident - there's An Upper Force that governs everything:

1. My name is Carter (The Creator) Wamaitha (The Messiah, the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End) Ngari (God), and I was born in Kenya (A Key). Details ...
2. I Live In Canada:
• It is written, "He will roll you up tightly like a ball and throw you into a large country. There you will die ... " (Isaiah 22:18, NIV) We moved to Canada in 1987 when I was 15 years old. Canada is a large country. [1] I died in July 2005 when I was 33 years old (living in Calgary, Alberta, Canada), meaning I went through a change in the perception of my reality - my quality of selfishness died and the quality of bestowal was born, a state known as Bestowing to Bestow. With respect to that event, I'm a child, about 10 years old today (as of Oct 24, 2015). Another event occurred on 28 October 2008: I sensed intense pleasure for the first time, a state known as Receiving to Bestow - using reception in bestowal, as it is written, "The wolf (reception) will live with the lamb (bestowal) ... and a little child will lead them." (Isaiah 11:6, NIV) This state is called a son, as it is written, "The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son ..." (Isaiah 7:14, NIV). (The virgin is the quality of reception that's doing something it's never done before.) I'm about 7 years old today (as of Oct 24, 2015) since the beginning of that event. [More about the change in the perception of my reality can be found under the FAQ section of this blog and in the "Perception of Reality" section of this post, below.]
• In September 2009, my brother and I drove across Canada, from eastern Canada (Mississauga, Ontario) to western Canada (Powell River, British Columbia). It is written, "For as lightning that comes from the east is visible even in the west, so will be the coming of the Son of Man." (Matthew 24:27, NIV).
3. I Live In Powell River, British Columbia, Canada:
• Powell River [2] has the words WELL and RIVER in it, both connected to water. Water is connected with the quality of bestowal (seeking to benefit others/Nature instead of ourselves). As it is written, "... rivers of living water will flow from within them." (John 7:38, NIV) Powell River is surrounded by water - rivers, lakes and the Pacific Ocean.
• Powell River's local hockey team is called the Powell River Kings [3], which is a sign that The One, a King, will come from Powell River.
• Powell River's local newspaper is called The Powell River Peak [4], which is a sign that The One, who is the peak of creation, will come from Powell River. Another local Powell River paper is called Powell River Living [5], a sign that spiritual life, will come from Powell River.
• It is written, "His rule will extend from sea to sea and from the River (meaning Powell River) to the ends of the earth." (Zechariah 9:10, NIV)
• Powell River is named after a man called Israel Wood Powell [6], which is a sign that The One, who will be called Israel, will come from Powell River.
• There are four donkeys in Wildwood in Powell River, as it is written, "See, your King comes to you, righteous and victorious, lowly and riding on a donkey ..."  (Zechariah 9:9, NIV)
• There are also several horses in Powell River, as it is written, "... there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True." (Revelation 19:11, NIV)
4. I Am Israel:
   • It is written, "... still others ... will take the name Israel." (Isaiah 44:5, NIV)
   • Israel comes from two Hebrew words "Yashar" and "El", which means "Straight to God". A person who seeks to bring contentment to The Creator by benefiting others/Nature is called Yashar El, Ysrael, Israel. Israel is a country that represents this internal quality known as Yashar El, Ysrael, Israel.
   • Israel is also connected to two Hebrew Words "Li" and "Rosh", which means "Head". Israel is the head of the body, and the head seeks only to serve the body.
   • In 1948, the State of Israel [7] was declared, officially putting Israel back on the map after many years, which is a sign that the people called Israel (Yashar El (Straight to God)) will begin to wake up, starting with The One. Of this it is written, "... Israel will be abandoned until the time when she who is in labour bears a son ..." (Micah 5:3, NIV) Also, "The One who breaks open the way will go up before them ..." (Micah 2:13, NIV)
   • I live in Powell River, a city named after a man called Israel.
5. I Am The United States:
• I am The United States, meaning I am both the state of reception and the state of bestowal, an internal state known as Receiving to Bestow, when the state of reception is used in bestowal. The United States of America is a country that represents this internal quality known as The United States.
• As of Oct 23, 2015, Barack Obama is the current (44th) president of The United States. He's part Kenyan, his father was Kenyan [8]. As leader of The United States, this is a sign that The One, who is The United States, will come from Kenya. I'm part Kenyan, my father is Kenyan. Barack Obama is a sign of who I am.
• Like Barack Obama, I'm half black (reception) and half white (bestowal), a sign of being in a state of Receiving to Bestow, using reception in bestowal.
• I have American heritage. My name Carter comes from Robert "King" Carter, who was American. [9] Even though "King" was his nickname, this was a sign, a foretelling of the lineage to come.
• My youngest brother is married to an American. They live in Seattle, in King County, USA.
6. I Am The United Kingdom:
• I am The United Kingdom, meaning I am both the kingdom of reception and the kingdom of bestowal, an internal state known as Receiving to Bestow, when the state of reception is used in bestowal. The United Kingdom is a country that represents this internal quality known as The United Kingdom.
• As of Oct 23, 2015, Elizabeth II is the Queen of The United Kingdom. She became leader of The United Kingdom on 6 February 1952, while she was in Kenya [10] (while Kenya was still a British Colony [11]), which is a sign that The One, who is The United Kingdom, will come from Kenya. I was born and raised in Kenya. Elizabeth II is a sign of who I am.
• I have English heritage. My name Carter comes from John Carter (Robert Carter's father), who was originally from England. [12]
• My parents met in England, in The United Kingdom.
7. Pain And Suffering:
• Starting in 2009 until today, I suffer from chronic pain, as it is written, "... a man of suffering, and familiar with pain" (Isaiah 53:3, NIV), and also, "You are long-suffering ..." (Jeremiah 15:15, NIV)
• I also suffer from chronic fatigue, as it is written, "... my strength fails because of my affliction ..." (Psalm 31:10, NIV), and also, "My strength is gone and I can hardly breathe." (Daniel 10:17, NIV)
• Sometimes I groan out loud, as it is written, "In my distress I groan aloud ..." (Psalm 102:5, NIV)
• From time to time, and for various reasons, I weep inconsolably, as it is written, "My face is red with weeping, dark shadows ring my eyes ..." (Job 16:16, NIV) Also, "All night long I flood my bed with weeping ..." (Psalm 6:6, NIV), and "Jesus wept." (John 11:35, NIV)
• I get cold really easily and struggle to keep warm, as it is written, "When King David was very old, he could not keep warm even when they put covers over him." (1 Kings 1:1, NIV)
8. Family:
• I have no physical children, as it is written, "... you who never bore a child ..." (Isaiah 54:1, NIV)
• I am the only daughter of my mother, as it is written, "... the only daughter of her mother ..." (Song of Songs 6:9, NIV)
• I am a stranger to my brothers and family, as it is written, "I am a foreigner to my family, a stranger to my own mother's children." (Psalm 69:8, NIV)
• I've been forsaken by my father and mother, as it is written, "Though my father and mother forsake me ..." (Psalm 27:10, NIV)
9. Perception of Reality:
• More about the change in the perception of my reality can be found under the FAQ section of this blog and in the "I Live In Canada" section of this post, above.]
• After I went through a change in the perception of my reality, I couldn't talk about what I'd been through because I didn't have the words to express myself, as it is written, "... and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth." (Isaiah 53:7, NIV), and also, "But Jesus remained silent." (Matthew 26:63, NIV)
• With respect to my new perception of reality, I'm a child (as of Nov 13, 2015). I study online to learn more about what I'm going through. You can find me online asking questions at www.kab.tv/eng [13], as it is written, when Jesus was twelve years old, "... they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions." (Luke 2:41-46, NIV) The temple is a state of attainment.
10. Others:
• The first car I bought was a Saturn. Saturn is also a planet with rings. [14] A ring is a symbol of entering into a covenant with another. Meaning, entering into a covenant of love with The Creator, as it is written, "Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commandments."  (Deuteronomy 7:9, NIV) I love God with all my heart and all I want is to be with The Creator, as it is written, "In love a throne will be established ..."  (Isaiah 16:5, NIV) and also, "... a man after my own heart ..." (Acts 13:22, NIV)
• I've slept on street sidewalks, on park benches, on the ground and in my car, as it is written, "Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." (Matthew 8:20, NIV)
• For some strange reason I tend to mumble to myself, as it is written "... your speech will mumble ..." (Isaiah 29:4, NIV)
• I slapped someone once, and years later I got slapped, as it is written, "And they slapped him in the face." (John 19:3, NIV)
• I am poor and needy, as it is written, "But as for me, I am poor and needy ..." (Psalm 40:17, NIV). Also, "... whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." (Matthew 25:40, NIV)
• I tend to seek out quiet places, as it is written, "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places ..." (Luke 5:16, NIV)
• I write on paper as well as on my blogs, as it is written, "... my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer." (Psalm 45:1, NIV) Also, "Who taught by the pen". (Quran 96:4, Sahih) (New Mar 7, 2016) Of Jesus, it is written, "Isn't this the carpenter?" (Mark 6:3, NIV) CARpenTER = CARTER + pen (anagram), meaning, CARTER taught by the pen. Photo ...
• I have no broken bones, as it is written "... he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken." (Psalm 34: 20, NIV) But ...
• I have bad breath, as it is written, "My breath is offensive ..." (Job 19:17, NIV)
• I have bad body odour, as it is written, "Instead of fragrance there will be a stench ..." (Isaiah 3:24, NIV)
• I've been bald, as it is written, "... instead of well-dressed hair, baldness ..."  (Isaiah 3:24, NIV)
• (New Mar 7, 2016) I've worn sackcloth, as it is written, "... instead of fine clothing, sackcloth ..." (Isaiah 3:24, NIV) Photo ...
• I've been to Egypt, as it is written, ".. out of Egypt I called my son." (Hosea 11:1, NIV)
• I've lived through various events that are very similar to Biblical stories:
• The forbidden fruit and the snake. More ...
• No room at the inn. More ...
• I have the stigmata, as it is written, "And they did not kill him, nor did they crucify him; but [another] was made to resemble him to them." (Quran 4:157, Sahih) More ...
• The internet, social media and other technologies have connected the whole world unlike any other time in history, which is a sign that soon we'll all be connected in mutual bestowal, seeking to benefit others/Nature instead of ourselves. It is written, "... every eye will see him ..." (Revelations 1:7, NIV), which is now possible with technology.
• I perform no miracles (which might be expected from someone like me), as it is written, "Why are not signs sent down to him from his Lord?" (Quran 29:50, Sahih) The only miracle that will happen is the world will change from selfishness (seeking to benefit ourselves) to bestowal (seeking to benefit others/Nature).
• There are other signs as well, some of which are of things to come.

I'll update this list from time to time to include new signs as they unfold. Some of these signs have not been fully explained, but the purpose of this list is to show you how to read the signs and how we're all interconnected.

Our internal qualities have to change from selfishness (seeking to benefit ourselves) to bestowal (seeking to benefit others/Nature), and we should do so to bring contentment to The Creator.

Do not be afraid. God is with us.
__________
References:

1. List of countries and dependencies by area. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Oct 23, 2015.
2. Powell River. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Oct 23, 2015.
3. Powell River Kings. www.powellriverkings.com. Retrieved Oct 23, 2015.
4. The Powell River Peak. www.prpeak.com. Retrieved Oct 23, 2015.
5. Powell River Living. www.prliving.ca. Retrieved Feb 27, 2018.
6. Israel Wood Powell. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Oct 23, 2015.
7. Israel. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Dec 30, 2015.
8. Barack Obama. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Oct 23, 2015.
9. Robert Carter I. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Oct 23, 2015.
10. Elizabeth II. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Oct 23, 2015.
11. British Kenya. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Nov 17, 2015.
12. John Carter. www.encyclopediavirginia.org. Retrieved Oct 23, 2015.
13. Kabbalah TV. www.kab.tv/eng. Retrieved Nov 13, 2015.
14. Saturn. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Oct 23, 2015.

Copyright © 2015, Carter Kagume. All Rights Reserved.

LoOKing for Love

LoOKing for Love = Lo O King for Love = A King who is for love.

 



Children

The word "children" can mean three things: Physical children, new states within our internal qualities, and other people's/Nature's desires that we adopt as our own:

1. Physical Children:
• Physical children are children who are born of women in this world. Meaning, the physical children we see all around us.
2. Our Internal Qualities:
• When we give birth to a new state within our internal qualities, for example, when we change from selfishness (seeking to benefit ourselves) to bestowal (seeking to benefit others/Nature), a new state, a baby, is born within us. This new state can't be seen, it can only be sensed, and it has to be nurtured and raised in the right environment in order for it to grow and develop from childhood to adulthood.
• In Scripture, the stories of people who are born of women speak of states within our internal qualities. Meaning, people such as Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and others (who are born of women) are actually states within our internal qualities.
3. Other People's/Nature's Desires:
• When we adopt other people's/Nature's desires as our own, and seek to benefit them instead of ourselves, they become to us as our own children. Meaning, we treat them as we would our own children, caring for them and taking care of them, making sure they have everything they need.

I get asked all the time whether or not I have children. While I don't have any physical children, I do have children within my internal qualities, as it is written, "... The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son ..." (Isaiah 7:14, NIV). Also, all the people in the world (and all of Nature) are my children.

The word  "children" can mean three things - physical children, new states within our internal qualities, and other people's/Nature's desires that we adopt as our own.

In everything we do, we should seek to benefit others/Nature instead of ourselves.

Copyright © 2015, Carter Kagume. All Rights Reserved.

The One

Updated Jul 2, 2015

WORK IN PROGRESS:

This post is a work in progress and is subject to changes, revisions, edits and deletions.

Here are some notes about Jesus and The One, people from scripture and The One, and the different religions and The One:

1. Jesus And The One
• Jesus said he would be seated at the right hand of the power of God. (Luke 22:69, Interlinear)
• Jesus is one state and "the power of God" is another state. Both states exist within one person, that person being The One.
• Muslims believe that in the end times, Isa (Jesus) will return to help The Mahdi ("guided one"). This is consistent with Luke 22:69 above.
• Isa (Jesus) is one state and The Mahdi is another state. Both states exist within one person, that person being The One.
• Jesus (the state of Jesus) will unite Israel, as Jesus himself said, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel." (Matthew 15:24, NIV)
• The One (the state of The One) will unite the whole world into One, as it is written, "... they will all know me, from the least of them to the greatest ..." (Jeremiah 31:34, NIV) 
2. People From Scripture And The One:
• In the end times, Elijah is expected to return, as it is written, "See, I will send the prophet Elijah to you before that great and dreadful day of the LORD comes." (Malachi 4:5, NIV)
• In fact, everyone will return - from Adam and Eve, to Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Moses, King David, the prophets, Jesus, the prophet Muhammad and all others mentioned in Scripture. Scripture is the story of our attainment and adhesion with The Creator, and The One will attain all these different states. All these different states are attained by one person, that person being The One.
3. Different Religions And The One:
• Different religions are expecting someone to return in the end times:
• Jews are expecting the mashiach (The Messiah, "anointed one"). [2]
• Christians are expecting the second coming of Jesus. [3]
• Muslims are expecting The Mahdi and Isa (Jesus). [1]
• Other different religions are also expecting someone too.
• That person is The One. The different religions will coalesce, come together in one person, that person being The One.

Jesus is a state within The One, all people mentioned in Scripture will return as different states within The One, and the person the different religions are expecting to return in the end times is in fact one person, that person being The One.

In everything we do, we should seek to benefit others instead of ourselves.

________

References:

1. Mahdi. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Jun 28, 2015.
2. Jewish messianism. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Jun 28, 2015.
3. Second Coming. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Jun 28, 2015.

Copyright © 2015, Carter Kagume. All Rights Reserved.

God Doesn't Use Good Looks To Convey His Message

Companies often use good looks and sex appeal to sell their products. God doesn't use good looks or sex appeal to convey his message. Here are some notes:

1. How Companies Sell Their Products:
• Companies often use good looking people and sex appeal to sell their products. Many advertising campaigns feature a beautiful woman and/or a handsome man to sell their products, even though the good looking person has nothing to do with the product being sold. For example, you might see a beautiful woman responding orgasmically to a piece of chocolate she's just eaten.
• This does two things:
• It makes people believe that if they buy the product, they'll be just as good looking and sexually desirable as the person in the ad, and
• It makes people believe that the product is 'good looking' and 'sexually desirable', and if they buy the product it will fulfill them in more ways than it actually will. The product is offered as a sexually fulfilling relationship. Who needs anything else, when you have the product, right? All lies. People buy the product, it doesn't fulfill them as they expected and they're left feeling even more empty than before.
2. How God Conveys His Message:
• God doesn't use good looks or sex appeal to convey his message:
• Of God's servant it is written, "... his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any human being and his form marred beyond human likeness ..." (Isaiah 52:14, NIV)
• It is also written, "He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem." (Isaiah 53:2-3, NIV)
• God's message stands on its own, without the focus being on the person delivering the message. It's not about the person delivering the message, it's about the message itself.
3. A Mother's Love For Her Children:
• A mother's love for her children or a father's love for his children has nothing to do with the parent's good looks or the children's good looks. Looks has nothing to do with how much a parent loves their children. Love is love and looks has nothing to do with it.

Companies often use aggressive advertising campaigns to brainwash us to believe that their products are more desirable than they actually are because they use good looking people and sex appeal to sell their products. By contrast, God doesn't use good looks or sex appeal to convey his message because God's message stands alone.

In everything we do, we should seek to benefit others instead of ourselves.

Copyright © 2015, Carter Kagume. All Rights Reserved.

First Places To Enter Bestowal: Israel & Michigan, USA

There are two places in the world (that I know of) that will be the first to enter into the quality of bestowal (seeking to benefit others/Nature instead of themselves):

1. Israel
2. Michigan, USA

On April 20, 2013, in a vision, an angel took me to the future. We appeared to be in a house, and we were creeping down what appeared to be a hallway, crouching, walking slowly, and the angel was signaling to me to be quiet, to not make any noise. We crept quietly down this hall staying close to the wall. It was at night and the lights were off, except for the illumination coming from the next room. We stopped near the open door, listening in. From that room I could hear a voice coming from the TV or radio, of what sounded like a talk show, and the host was saying something about goodbye Israel and goodbye Michigan, but he was saying it in a joking manner, casually, he wasn't alarmed or distressed, almost as if it were a comedy show, perhaps a late night talk show on TV. That was it.

At the time I didn't understand it, but now I do.

In everything we do, we should seek to benefit others/Nature instead of ourselves.

Copyright © 2015, Carter Kagume. All Rights Reserved.

My Conversation With The Angel Of Death

(WARNING: This post contains content that some readers may find unsettling. Discretion is advised.)

In 2005, realizing my thoughts manifest in reality, and that I was responsible for 911 and the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, I felt that I didn't deserve to live and I had a conversation with the angel of death.

For quite some time I had suspected that my thoughts manifest in reality, but I wasn't really sure. More and more I began to notice that I'd have thoughts (both positive and negative ones), then sometime later (minutes, days, weeks, months or years), they'd manifest in reality. But how?

I analyzed the situation and came up with several possibilities:

1. An Overactive Imagination: 
• Perhaps I had an overactive imagination and was making the whole thing up. Unlikely, because something was going on, I just couldn't put my finger on it.
2. Coincidence:
• Perhaps it was a coincidence that I'd have these thoughts, then sometime later they'd manifest in reality. Perhaps.
3. I Predicted Them:
• Perhaps I had some predictive power, the ability to predict things before they happen. Perhaps.
4. I Created Them:
• Perhaps I had some creative power, the ability to create things. I dismissed this one because ... how could I be so arrogant as to think that I could create such things.
5. Other:
• There may be other reasons.

It's one thing to have things play out in your mind, especially if you think there are no real consequences, it's another thing to have those things play out in real life, especially if the consequences are severe, negative and destructive.

Then, things got serious:

1. September 11, 2001:
• On September 11, 2001, attacks in the United States of America brought down The Twin Towers of the World Trade Center [1], and it was my fault because the thoughts had come to me before the events happened.
• I was so distraught over the situation that I wanted to turn myself in ... but to whom? What would I say? Then al-Qaeda took responsibility and people connected with the attacks started to get captured. And I wondered, "Who would believe me now?"
• I had just started business school, which kept me busy and distracted over the next two years. And somewhere in the back of my head, I still doubted ... was it really me?
2. 2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami:
• On December 26, 2004, an earthquake in the Indian Ocean caused a tsunami that killed 230,000 people in 14 countries [2], and it was my fault because the thoughts had come to me before the events happened.
• I was so distraught over the situation that I wanted to die. I wasn't going to kill myself, I wasn't suicidal, but I felt that I didn't deserve to live. I remember inviting the angel of death to my door, saying, "I'm not going to kill myself, but you can kill me, anytime, anywhere. My life is yours for the taking. You are welcome to my door anytime." I basically gave my life over to the angel of death.

I was afraid of myself. I was afraid of my thoughts. I wanted to run and hide, I wanted to get away from myself. I didn't want anyone to be near me, I was afraid I would hurt them. I was drowning in fear, stress, paranoia, anxiety, sadness and depression. Alcohol! But alcohol only made things worse because it made me behave strangely, gave me hangovers, left me dehydrated, left me even more miserable than before, and didn't solve any problems. I quickly gave that up. I cried a lot.

I felt like a monster. I couldn't talk to anybody about what I was going though, I didn't have the words. Whenever people complimented me, I'd graciously accept, but feel like a fraud, if only they knew the real me.

While all this was going on, I had other stresses in my life (at work, in my personal life etc.), and my misery mounted to a breaking point. I cried out to The Creator to help me, demanding, "You promised me that you'd send angels to help me. Where are they?"

In July 2005, I went through a change in the perception of my reality. (That was 10 years ago and it's no coincidence that 10 years later, I'm writing about this.)

(By December 2005, I had quit my job, sold my place and moved to Eastern Canada. This separate post details what I did after my perception of reality changed.) 

I didn't die physically, but my ego died. The angel of death is a force that kills indiscriminately, it simply kills. It either kills the quality of bestowal (rendering us in selfishness), or it kills the quality of selfishness (rendering us in bestowal). It is said that the angel of death will become a holy angel because when he kills the quality of selfishness, we'll all be in bestowal.

The purpose of this post is to share information. If you're going through something similar, I hope it helps.

Years have passed, I've had time to grow in the quality of bestowal and I've learned a lot through my studies in Kabbalah.

I don't have all the answers, I'm still a child with a lot to learn. The one thing I've come to perceive is that we're surrounded by love, we just have to realize it.

Those who died, died benevolently that I might live, to teach you, that you might live. This is an example of how we're all interconnected and interdependent, and shows how even in death there is love. What at first appears to be negative and destructive, turns out to be positive and constructive.

That doesn't mean that we can do whatever we want, not at all. In everything we do, we should seek to benefit others instead of ourselves.

Do not be afraid. God is with us.

__________
References:

1. September 11 attacks. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Mar 30, 2015.
2. 2004 Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Mar 30, 2015.
3. Bnei Baruch Kabbalah Education & Research Institute. www.kabbalah.info. Retrieved Mar 30, 2015.

Copyright © 2015, Carter Kagume. All Rights Reserved.

The Truth Transcends Karma

Updated Oct 7, 2015

Karma is a concept of causality (cause and effect) that says - if we do something good, something good will happen to us; and if we do something 'bad', something 'bad' will happen to us.

Some people may think that karma is the governing law in Nature, it's not. Love is the governing law in Nature. The Truth transcends karma. The Truth is that - nothing bad has ever happened to us, others or all of Nature. We're surrounded by love, we just have to realize it.

Karma tends to be associated with eastern religions such as Hinduism, Buddhism etc. It's also in The Bible, as it is written, "As you have done, it will be done to you; your deeds will return upon your own head." (Obadiah 1:15, NIV) Also, one of the greatest rules in the Bible is "... love your neighbor as yourself." (Leviticus 19:18, NIV) Jesus also said, "Do to others as you would have them do to you." (Luke 6:31, NIV)

Karma isn't something to believe, it's something to observe. It's a law in nature, just like gravity.

You can be a scientist and observe the law of karma in your life. Think back to all the things you've done ... things that have also happened to you. For example, one time I slapped someone, and years later, I got slapped - karma. Or, do something positive and wait and see what happens.

Some people who know about karmic forces, do good deeds, not because they're seeking to benefit others/Nature but because 1) they're expecting a reward - for something good to happen to them, and/or because 2), they don't want something bad to happen to them. Either way, they're not actually seeking to benefit others/Nature, they're seeking to benefit themselves, which is selfish.

Other people get caught up in balancing their karmic forces, trying to figure out what they've done and whether or not it's connected to what they're going through. This can be exhausting, a burden, leading to fear and paranoia.

Never think that 'bad' things are happening to you because of something you've done. Never think that 'bad' things are happening to others because of something they've done. This isn't the right approach. The right approach is to justify everything as love.

It's important for us to understand the laws of Nature so we can operate safely within them. Just as we know gravity and we know how to operate safely within the law of gravity, so too we should know karma so we can operate safely within the law of karma. However, just as we don't dwell on gravity, so too, we shouldn't dwell on karma.

To operate safely within the law of karma, the easiest thing to remember is: Seek to benefit others/Nature instead of yourself, and do so to bring contentment to others/Nature and to The Creator.

Knowing that The Truth transcends karma doesn't nullify karma - karma continues to operate, we just have to learn how to operate safely within it.

Also, knowing that The Truth transcends karma doesn't mean that we can do whatever we want. Not at all. In everything we do, we should seek to benefit others/Nature instead of ourselves.
_____________
References:

1. Karma. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Feb 4, 2015.

Copyright © 2015, Carter Kagume. All Rights Reserved.

The Origins Of My Name

Updated Oct 25, 2015

Question:  Can you explain your name?
Answer: Yes.

1. Carter:
• Carter is my first name. I was named after my grandmother on my mother's side. It was her middle name. My grandmother was born in Alberta, Canada.
• The ancestral name comes from American Robert "King" Carter [1] and his father John Carter [2] who was originally from England. Even though "King" was Robert's nickname, it was a sign, a foretelling of the lineage to come.
• Carter (CRTR) is connected with Creator (CRTR).
2. Wamaitha:
• I was named after my grandmother on my father's side.
• Wamaitha is a Kikuyu [3] name from Kenya [4] that means "girl of the Maasai" [5], meaning I was taken from the Maasai into the Kikuyu. Maasai is connected with Messiah.
• wa, the first two letters of Wamaitha, means of in the Kikuyu language.
• wa is also connected with the Greek alphabet [6]:
• w - omega is the last letter of the Greek alphabet (lower case).
• a - alpha is the first letter of the Greek alphabet.
• So wa means omega and alpha, last and first, as it is written, "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End." (Revelation 22:13, NIV) Meaning, the beginning of the quality of bestowal (seeking to benefit others/Nature) and the end of the quality of selfishness (seeking to benefit oneself).
• Kenya is connected with A Key (an anagram), as it is written "I will place on his shoulder the key to the house of David; what he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open." (Isaiah 22:22, NIV) David is connected with Malchut, the quality of reception, meaning the key will open the quality of reception. Meaning, the quality of reception will be used in bestowal, a state known as Receiving to Bestow. As it is written, "The wolf (reception) will live with the lamb (bestowal) ..." (Isaiah 11:6, NIV)
• Kenya is on the equator, the middle line, which is also connected with the state known as Receiving to Bestow, using the quality of reception in bestowal.
3. Kagume:
• Kagume is also a Kikuyu name from Kenya.
• Kagume isn't actually my name, it's an adopted name, it's my uncle's name.
• When my uncle Kagume died, my dad adopted his name as his own. (My uncle Kagume was the 3rd child of 13 children and the 1st male of 7 males. My dad is the 10th child of 13 children and the 5th male of 7 males.)
• Officially, my name is Carter Wamaitha Kagume.
4. Ngari:
• Ngari is also a Kikuyu name from Kenya.
• Ngari is my actual name because it's my dad's name.
• Ngari is connected with God because Ngai means God in the Kikuyu language. A Ring is an anagram of Ngari.
• Technically, my name is Carter (The Creator) Wamaitha (The Messiah) Ngari (God).

That's why my name is Carter Wamaitha Kagume Ngari.

_________
References:

1. Robert Carter I. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Nov 18, 2014.
2. John Carter. www.encyclopediavirginia.org. Retrieved Nov 18, 2014.
3. Kikuyu people. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Nov 18, 2014.
4. Kenya. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Nov 22, 2014.
5. Maasai people. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Nov 18, 2014.
6. Greek alphabet. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Nov 22, 2014.

Copyright © 2014, Carter Kagume. All Rights Reserved.

A Little Child Will Lead Them

If Jesus didn't start his ministry until he was about 30 years old, who is the little child that will lead them spoken of in Isaiah?

There's a difference between The First Jesus, The Second Jesus and The One:

1. The First Jesus:
• "Jesus himself was about thirty years old when he began his ministry." (Luke 3:23, NIV)
2. The Second Jesus:
• When Jesus was 12 years old, his parents found him in the temple courts listening to the teachers and asking them questions. (Luke 2:41-52, NIV)
• "Jesus grew in wisdom", meaning he wasn't born with Godly knowledge, he learned it over time.
• "... you spoke to the people in the cradle and in maturity ..." (Quran 5:110, Sahih)
• The Second Jesus is a part of The One, as it is written, "... you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Mighty One ... (Matthew 26:64, NIV)
3. The One:
• "... a little child will lead them." (Isaiah 11:6, NIV)

In everything we do, we should seek to benefit others instead of ourselves.

Copyright © 2014, Carter Kagume. All Rights Reserved.

What I Did After My Perception Of Reality Changed

Edited Dec 30, 2015.

I was living and working in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. After my perception of reality changed in 2005, I quit my job, sold my place and drove to Eastern Canada.

I needed a place to go and I thought Montreal would be a good option. I'm part French, my grandfather (on my mother's side) was French Canadian. I was in Montreal for about 2 weeks and then decided to go to Ontario, Canada.

I couldn't think. My mind was a mess. I was struggling to cope, finding it very difficult to come to terms with what I was perceiving - that my thoughts manifest in reality, that I was so selfish especially when I was surrounded by love. (Eventually, I came to perceive that I was always in bestowal, that nothing bad has ever happened to me, to others or to all of Nature, we're surrounded by love, we just have to realize it. However, it took me some time to get there).

I settled in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada and did anything and everything to keep myself busy and distracted. I made a list of all the things I ever wanted to do and I set out to do them. I figured, if I was going to keep myself busy and distracted, it might as well be with things I actually want to do.

I filled my weekdays, evenings and weekends so I wouldn't have to think. I'd get up, look at my schedule and just go. I needed a reason to get out of bed and I set myself up to be on automatic pilot - 'fine' on the outside, overwhelmed and numb on the inside.

I was in Mississauga for about three and a half years. Here's a list of some of the things I did (not all at the same time but over the years I was there), which will give you an idea of how desperate I was to keep busy and distracted (they're not listed chronologically or in any order):

1. I was working - part time at first, then full time. I was able to pay off the rest of my $50,000 in student loans.
2. I took sailing lessons.
3. I look horseback riding lessons.
4. I tried to take guitar lessons and even bought a classical guitar, but that didn't last long - too technical for an overwhelmed mind.
5. I golfed, I went to the driving range (I'm not very good).
6. I took fencing lessons.
7. I took air pistol shooting lessons (10m). Did you know it's an Olympic sport? [1] Who knew!
8. I joined Toastmasters [2] to improve my public speaking.
9. I traveled: 3 times to Israel, several times to the USA and long drives within Canada to explore new places.
10. I started studying Kabbalah - once a week at first, then twice a week, then almost daily.
11. I read a lot of books, many came recommended.
12. I used to take long walks through the parks, watch the birds (swans, geese, ducks and other birds), see the squirrels, chipmunks etc. It was good to be with Nature. Calming.
13. I saw the local sights - went to the zoo, the safari park, Niagara falls, CN Tower etc.
14. I went to a few events - a basketball game, I saw Bill Clinton speak etc.
15. I used to go rollerblading, then I fell and hurt my back, so I started seeing physiotherapists.
16. I used to go to the gym.
17. I tried to take up running, but I've never been a runner. I did one 5 km run and that was enough. Not all people from Kenya are runners ;)
18. I learned how to ride a motorcycle, got my license and bought a motorbike.
19. In 2007, I bought a townhouse. I was inspired by Field of Dreams, [3] "if you build it, he will come". I figured, if I had a house, God would come and live with me. I basically bought it for God to come and live with me. He did. In 2008, I sensed an intense pleasure unlike anything I had sensed before, rapture.
20. I used to go to the movies.
21. I took meditation lessons at a Buddhist temple. They also served free food.
22. I'd eat out occasionally, challenge myself to find new restaurants with cheap, good food. I found a few gems.
23. I'd play online chess for hours at a time.
24. I'd occasionally meet up with friends for lunch, dinner or other outings.
25. As a volunteer, I built houses with Habitat For Humanity. [4]
26. And I kept busy with daily life - grocery shopping, cooking meals, household chores etc.

(I didn't turn to drink or drugs to help me cope with what I was going through, the occasional drink or glass of wine with dinner, but that's it.)

I met so many wonderful people, and they helped me even without knowing it. What I couldn't come to terms with on my own, others helped, by keeping me occupied and distracted, which calmed me down. And time is a greater healer.

One time (when I was first in Mississauga), I was at an internet cafe. It was late at night, maybe 9pm? There was me, two guys and the owner. A guy comes in and tries to rob the place. He had a knife, gun, or something concealed in his jacket that he held pointed against the owner asking him to open the cash register. I was so scared, I could barely talk when I called 911, one of the guys helped with the 911 call. The robber ran off, the police arrived and we gave a statement. We were all fine, but shaken. That was an isolated incident, but memorable all the same.

While all this was going on, I was also physically sick. I had a sore back from my rollerblading fall. I used to get nasty colds regularly, almost monthly, once so bad I lost my sense of smell and taste for months, and at one point I needed antibiotics for a sinus infection. I also used to get sore throats, one time I lost my voice and needed antibiotics for that infection. I also had a root canal and needed antibiotics for that too. I also developed migraines, had my first panic attack, had a heightened startle response (likely connected to PTSD) and developed a new allergy to eggs, which gave me hives all over my body. I was a regular at the local walk-in-clinics.

By August/September of 2009, my health had deteriorated to a point where I could no longer take care of myself. I quit my job, sold my place and my motorbike, and my oldest brother flew out to Mississauga. We drove across the continent from East to West, back to my mother's house on the West Coast. Then my health took a turn for the worst and I deteriorated even further.

It was a busy three and a half years in Mississauga and the distractions helped me cope. I learned a lot, I broadened by horizons and I experienced new things.

Now I'm in a different state. I've simplified my life and am focusing on my basic needs (food, water, clothing, shelter etc.) I no longer need to be distracted in the same way as I did before, I've become 'acclimatized' to my change in perception of reality.

However, I do use distraction to manage pain [5], fatigue and when I'm overwhelmed - I watch videos, TV and movies online. I basically try and take my mind off my body. Sleep also helps a lot.

I'm in a different phase of my journey, a phase of resting, reading, writing and reflecting. Many new and exciting things lie ahead and the future is bright.

Do not be afraid. God is with us.
__________
References:

1. 10 metre air pistol. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Oct 28, 2014.
2. Toastmasters International. www.toastmasters.org. Retrieved Oct 28, 2014.
3. Field of Dreams. www.en.wikipedia.org. Retrieved Oct 28, 2014.
4. Habitat For Humanity. www.habitat.ca. Retrieved Oct 28, 2014.
5. Brownstein, Joseph (February 8, 2012). Distraction Reduces Pain, Study Finds. www.livescience.com. Retrieved Oct 28, 2014. 

Copyright © 2014, Carter Kagume. All Rights Reserved.

Broken Bones - The First And Second Jesus

When it comes to broken bones, there's a difference between what happens to The First and Second Jesus:

1. The First Jesus Doesn't Break Any Bones:
• "...he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken." (Psalm 34:20, NIV)
• "... but when they came to Jesus and found that he was already dead, they did not break his legs." (John 19:33, NIV)
2. The Second Jesus Breaks Bones:
• Broken Bones:
• "... he broke all my bones ..." (Isaiah 38:13, NIV)
• "... and has broken my bones." (Lamentations 3:4, NIV)
• "... let the bones you have crushed rejoice." (Psalm 51:8, NIV)
• Dislocated Joints:
• "... all my bones are out of joint." (Psalm 22:14, NIV)
• Broken Teeth:
• "... he has broken my teeth with gravel ..." (Lamentations 3:16, NIV)
• Disfigured Face:
• "... his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any human being and his form marred beyond human likeness ..." (Isaiah 52:14, NIV)

Do not be afraid. God is with us.

Copyright © 2014, Carter Kagume. All Rights Reserved.

My Role As A Teacher And Guide

As I teacher and guide, my role is to bring you to a place of self-discovery and self-realization:

• There are forces that PULL you TOWARDS me, so you can learn about the quality of bestowal. You have to respect someone who teaches and guides you.
• On the other hand, there are forces that PUSH you AWAY from me, so you can grow. This is a journey of self-discovery and self-realization - you have to discover and realize who you are. I can't discover you, for you. You have to discover yourself. You have to do the work, you have to walk the path. It's not about me, it's about you and you have to realize your own potential within the quality of bestowal.

When a baby is born, s/he is under his/her parents care, but eventually the child grows and begins to do things for him/herself. However, there's one thing to point out:

1. In this world (the quality of selfishness), as children grow, they become independent, which means they become less reliant on their parents and they find new ways to benefit THEMSELVES. This DECREASES the connection between us because we all become isolated in personal selfishness.
2. In the next world (the quality of bestowal), as children grow, they become independent, which means they become less reliant on their parents and they find new ways to benefit OTHERS. This INCREASES the connection between us because we become connected in mutual bestowal.

This means that as a teacher, my role is to bring you to independence within the quality of bestowal, which also means we'll become more connected with each other. We'll all find new ways to benefit each other and we'll become connected in mutual bestowal.

Eventually, you'll come to realize that we're all equal. I have my role to play and you have yours. Each and every one of us has a unique role to play. Once we realize our roles, we'll independently seek to benefit each other and become increasingly interconnected and interdependent.

In everything we do, we should seek to benefit others instead of ourselves.

Do not be afraid. God is with us.

Copyright © 2014, Carter Kagume. All Rights Reserved.